How many times do you think about or dream about something before you act upon those thoughts and dreams? This past year has been a year of repeated tortures, trials and rebirths, over and over again, with the thoughts of the same topic coming up as of last night, five times.
Is that enough?
At what point in one’s life do we say, ok, if I’m thinking it, and dreaming it, it must matter and I must put those thoughts into the forefront of my being? Today is the day for me.
I’ve changed or better yet, evolved over the past year in a deep and most personal way and it took a large part of my soul to let go of baggage and release myself of people, processes and negativity that was constantly surrounding me. I’ve taken on my newest found health crisis with complete passion and dedication and have spent the last four months in so many doctors offices, I cannot count.
I’ve lost my mind to fear and my heart to The University of Albany.
I’ve lost 20 pounds and the desire to eat ice cream. I’ve lost some of my medications while gaining new ones. The foundation my family started is closing after five years and my youngest daughter is adding flute and basketball to her daily routines. I’ve vacationed and worked.
I’ve weeded, slept for hours and hours. So many hours that you would think I havent slept in my entire life. I’ve cried many days and shared the most personal thoughts with some very close friends who are lifting me up every day. I’m worried and encouraged about existing today as two of my children begin new stages in life and my oldest prepares for her toughest surgery ever. I mean ever.
But that’s all ok. Why? Because most importantly, I’ve had five reminders of what I need to do…