Most days for me right now are consumed with items going on in my personal life and very deep feelings about our country. I thought I would address some of those concerns that I have regarding many of my thoughts as of late. Consider this a mild rant and a way that I can remember how I felt right now and how I might feel a year from now. If you keep reading and disagree with me, I would love to know your thoughts, but for the love of God (who I also have issues with) don’t turn me away.
1. Political Views Should Not Affect A Friendship.
If they do, your friendship isn’t what you thought it was before the discussion. There are people that will “yes” you to death when you input your views on religion, politics, county officials, city laws and education. No matter what you think, someone will think otherwise and those who respect your views and respond with theirs, deserve the same. For those that know me well, (yes I have said this before) I like to play the devils advocate on subjects that need a look at from both sides of an issue. I am a woman who will not just listen to someone who is respected in the community or country and trust it, but instead, will read many views and research and make or state my own opinion, view or decision on a board or in a discussion. Personal experience also plays a large role here. A large role. Presenting a view of a strategy, observance or a “like” on Facebook can certainly make you noticed, but I believe at the very least all sides should be looked at equally and respected. Even if you disagree.
2. Teachers Should Teach At School and More
Several times this year, I have been informed by my children that teachers in both middle schools and even collegiate level institutions present their opinions to their students regarding education “reform” using such pressuring verbiage that made some younger children come home crying about a state test and others wanting to themselves be heard, but not allowed in class time. Hmmmm. At many different times this year I have also been told by said students that on both levels, teachers show up late to class, and use cellphones before lessons on a regular basis, even stopping classes to “check” a missed call or text. Hmmmm. How about our teachers and professors just teach. There is a time and place for your opinions and personal life and its NOT in my child’s or college students classroom. Save your agenda for teachers meetings. Since when have we been allowed to refuse a test? The start of this practice was a certain disaster in the making. When did we start allowing the last six days of school to be kickball tournaments and game days? Do we really need to make changes to our schedules to send our students there for THAT? Plan a school year calendar with actual work and tests that run through the whole year. Knowing that we live in an area where there are already school closings for weather, I have a hard time digesting this calendar.
Another touchy subject, are we really that afraid of how our children will be seen from a state test, local test, reading competition or win/lose competitions? I truly believe, and realized this is a serious problem just last night when I attended a local baseball game. We are doing a disservice to our children to let them “win” at everything when they are younger. There were seven contests last night at said game and in each one, the participant who “won” really lost. They either cheated, didn’t get the right answer, the correct flip of the large coin or finished a task NOT in the time that should have to win. What are we telling our children? By the way, some were even adults, who won for the sake of entertainment. Unbelievable. We all get trophies. We all get medals. We are all the greatest. We don’t want to see their flaws, the teachers flaws, the education systems flaws or our own parenting flaws.
Our children will SUCK at things during their life. If we don’t expose them to loss, disappointment and not being the best, we are damaging them for later lessons in life. Just today my son asked me why he had to have money taken out of his paycheck to pay for federal programs that might not be there in the future. I told him that because if you don’t, you can guarantee they wont be there when you need them. I also told him to research the status of many who don’t contribute to the programs, but use the system to their financial, medical and personal gain and write to his congress and elect someone who he “believes” will help fix the problem. The fact that he is almost 22 and doesn’t already realize this, is a failure on my part.
By the way, ADMIT when your wrong. Take responsibility when you make a bad decision or a complete jack ass out of yourself. It goes a long way to respect.
If you are an administrator, teacher or anyone who is on a board of your school district, please see this aggressive statement: Rules mean Rules. For everyone. No short shorts means no short shorts for EVERYONE. IF you cannot enforce a rule, get it out of the rule book. Do you know how many pictures I have of girls wearing inappropriate clothing to school just from this year? They bend over and you can see their thong or cheeks? Walk the walk or stop “talking” about it in a rule book. One rule out of a hundred.
If you are a non-profit institution, everyone should receive the same treatment. Collusion to exclude members, recipients of services, or vague communication to a joined member or grantee is just inexcusable. ADMIT your mistakes, take care of the problem and frankly get your shit together. If you do not address a problem that has been submitted to your institution other than mere words of objection, and you do not fix the problem, guess what you are still doing the wrong thing. Make it right. For the public to see. Do not charge one member or person, and give a free pass to another. Treat your sponsors the same, no matter the dollar or service they donate. Friends and NFP’s can work together. I have seen it happen.
Case and Point: Ask me anytime to provide you documentation on my NP, The Forever Jordan Foundation, you got it. If you had a problem, it went to the Board and got resolved. If we didn’t know the answer to a question by a supporter, we admitted it and found the answer. If you are stressed, leave the room and treat your staff with respect. Finally, if you are growing and need extra help, find it. If you cannot run it without all of the above, close it. I did, regretfully and I let my Board and volunteers know it. Do the right thing.
3. POTUS and SCOTUS (read on at your discretion…I get opinionated here)
Both have been making some choices that are changing our country, which I agree and disagree with and will change and define our country in many ways. If you are reading this, Mr. President and Judges, please stop making one or two decisions a year. Please create and pass legislation that helps the citizens of the United States such as NOT allowing medical services for illegal immigrants forcing the burden on those that are legal, paying taxes and monthly health insurance premiums. Help each one of us by providing meaningful legislation to help our hungry and homeless. Stop the red tape for those who need grants and loans to fix their homes from natural destruction from years ago. Stop sending billions of aid to other countries who never would do the same for The United States. Just stop. And please don’t tell me, its just not that simple. Yes it is.
If you didn’t vote, please just sit down now and shut up because when my mother in-law was traveling to another country and fell ill, her husband had to put up $10,000 in CASH in order to receive treatment. If my family couldn’t, she would not be helped. Why? Because they smartly realize that her illness multiplied by possible hundreds of thousands would help cripple their economy. A woman on board a ship in a foreign country, and yet another visiting Germany gave birth to their child early. That’s right, no citizenship for the baby just because they were physically born there. Kudos to them. America should follow. I agree that we are a melting pot of people. I also believe that if you are here illegally, you are NOT an ingredient in our soup. Do the right thing or go home. No excuses. I know we have better life possibilities here and your country is probably not treating you very well. However, we, The United States of America and its citizens and programs are being financially devastated by undocumented citizens receiving aid here. Please, if you come here, do it the correct way.
4. THE MEDIA
What a shame how the left wing and the right wing and the middle feathers and spines of our culture purposefully mislead and over embellish story lines to help their agendas and ratings. Free speech will come at a cost people. Saying that, we all realize this or at the very least, we SHOULD. So why do we tune in to such garbage? Why do we post the garbage or talk about it? Why cant we all just say no? For a change. TV today? This amazing creation that has become sad. Family Feud Celebrity Feud has begun. Do you all know that? If you have seen it, it is made up of mostly explicit topics and words that should never be used in the 8 o’clock hour…..even the 9 o’clock hour. Where is our dignity? Where is any intelligent programming lately for families? Who is making the decisions to put this crap on air? Why are we watching? Why are we letting our children watch?
Where is a Sunday Disney movie, Wild Kingdom and shows at 8 o’clock that we can actually watch with our families that aren’t completely stupid (Dance Moms) or just non view-able (Zoey 101) where teens go to a private high school and drive Ferrari’s and have story lines that are just too ridiculous to sit through. Even Animal Planet you have to screen first to make sure you aren’t going to be seeing abused animal shows that will give you nightmares, much less a child.
5. Equality, Gun Control, Big Brother, Small Business, Large Business, Obamacare, The Bible, No Child Left Behind and how many more subjects….
Everyone in the world will interpret words in a law, book, writing, research and everything else printed or spoken and with that comes strong opinions regarding the same. We have to agree that we all cant agree and the people who go to the polls and elect the officials that we “think” and I say that lightly, will represent what we believe we need for change are the people that will define where we go. If only a small percentage of the people speak through our processes as failed as they are sometimes, only a small amount of work will get done.
Most importantly, if you post or speak a view to me, you need to back it up with responsible actions. Don’t post about a change that you will never do. A position that you will rescind when it is convenient for you. Why give a business a 5 star review, when you complain about the company and its practices to others in your friendship circle. Do the right thing and give them a 3.5 and state why! If the business only receives what they want to hear, there will be no change. Stand up for what you believe, speak about it, write to the editor and have deep conversations with your friends. Respect another persons view and yours at the same time. We are all different. Stand up for your support of something and why you have changed your view.
By all goodness out there, (I just couldn’t use God more than once) stop YESSING your friends, co-workers, husbands, wives and children. I will always thank Mr. Mitchell Kunik who during an interview to work for him told me explicitly, “Never ever Yes me.” “If you don’t finish something that I need, say it’s not finished. Tell me when you are overwhelmed. Yes’ing me does not help me or my company.” The best lesson I have ever learned. I never yes’ed him. I became his Office Manager and learned everything about business and strong support from a team of great bosses. They came to New York for my wedding after I left their company to find happiness in my personal life. All of the partners. They never Yes’d me either.
Take criticism and give it RESPONSIBLY with empathy and sincerity. Love your neighbor and realize that we all have limits and sometimes those limits are different with every person. I may not text you the same day, return a call or even answer it for a day or so, but there is a reason. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, respect you or am not thinking of you. This is a reminder to all of my friends, near and far that I love you all immensely. Right now and for the next many months, I have a full plate and cant respond every day to the new culture of immediate satisfaction. I will do my best and I’m sure it will suck for awhile. Please bear with me.
I do promise to never YES anyone. To speak my mind clearly if I have something to say and to do it respectfully. I also promise myself to try and be a better parent. Encourage my child to say something if they see something. Someone told my child last week that you should sometimes just remain quiet and watch from the sidelines if you see someone doing something wrong to someone else or property to protect your existing friendships, or instead be ready to lose friendships. What? How is that teaching our children to be strong individuals and strong women to boot. There are mean girls, boys and people in general. Stop giving them the power. The ability to educate administrators about said people in school is up to us and our children. We tell them to stop the bullies. Well, do it! Please do not tell them to step aside. Mean what you say and walk the walk. Don’t penalize your child for standing up for a victim, possible victim or themselves of another student. I will continue to teach my youngest how to lose with grace, which needs working on and teach my oldest the rules of the world more than I have in the past. I will become more active in my community to my ability and will continue to vote for change I believe needs to happen. I encourage everyone to do the same.
PS: Do you know the state of affairs with our jail system? How many jails we currently have for violent offenders? How many states would our offenders fit into right now?
I bet you don’t. But you will tell me how many grammar mistakes I made in this piece.
Note: I am a Republican, vote for who I think is best regardless of my card choice and I make mistakes. Lots of them. I do my very best to admit them. I will try to be a better person and I expect no less from my family. I will have my ear on the train track of life and not just ride on the train. That’s just not my style.